Bitchings of the Past Taylor

The Things I Want To Say But I Can't Because They Are Mean So I Aggressively Write In My Journal

These Journal Entries are my first thoughts out of my brain. They are feelings that hold no real weight, just word vomits that I can’t hold in. Please know that I am sharing this with you all in hopes of helping one of ya’ll feel less alone in whatever crazy train you are on. All I ask in return for this article, is your utmost respect in understanding that there will be no shit commenting, arguing, or threats. This is a series for “Real Life In The Raw” let’s just keep it real.

As stated in the disclaimer, this is a journal entry from some time ago. Please enjoy my extreme bitching, petty first world complaints, and the rawness that is Taylor Cecelia Brook

Shit [redacted] does

Does he remember to put shit in the dishwasher? Nope. How many cups/plates/dishware are in his office… fucking 8.

How long have his clothes been in the laundry room? As of [redacted] almost 2 weeks

Has he wiped off the stove after he is done cooking? Never

There are times when I have a partner and other times where,

I have a warm body in my house.

Did I have to remind him to grab the boxes right in front of him as he was going out to get the recycling cans? Yup

[Redacted] wanted to go to the store but because I don't have a list already made up they can't go (I know their excuse will be "you'll complain when I get the wrong stuff, but how would they know when they have never done it. I legit was post-op ordering groceries because they couldn't even do that ) they also hate grocery shopping and even though I do like it, there are times when I don't and I want a break.

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He forgot 4 separate times that he was the fulltime parent on Saturday, after he made that HIS idea 🤦‍♀️

I've reminded him 3 separate times now (within a 6 month period) not to leave the wet dirty mop head on the mop, on the R$AL HARDWOOD (that was intentional. Like 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I told him I was going to go in the hot tub. He locked me out of the house because he forgot I was out there. What 🤦‍♀️ how?!

He's so afraid to let me sleep with other men because he's so insecure that I’ll leave him, but he's doing that on his own.

Instead of trying to learn my pantry system he just leaves me to do it. Sometimes he will help but if [redacted] is asleep he won't.

Same with putting the dishes away.

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He kicked a dog because he got mad at it.

I'm worried that he will think I'm "looking for any excuse" to get a divorce because I told him if he hit/kicked a dog again I was done.

I instituted, after discussing it with him, a 15 minute clean up time every night after dinner to try and stay on top of the mess. It didn't even last three months. It slowly ended up being just me cleaning.

He actively tries to convince me not to clean.

It's been 3 weeks since he cleaned the spare bath and there is no more room in the bathroom laundry basket.

He's going to say "you should have told me this bothered you " and I HAVE SO MANY TIMES. He also will be likely to say "would you like my list of grievances" in a sarcastic tone.

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Our sex life isn't actually that good if I have to think about another [redacted] doing it 🙃 I'm not really sexually attracted to him anymore 😭🙃😬

Reminded him 3 times in 24hrs that the plates on the counter were the ones he gave [redacted]. He did not put them away. They have been there since Friday.

I have spent our entire relationship telling him that the one thing I always want and one of the best ways to give me physical touch, is a massage from him. I think he's given me like 3 real massages in our entire 14 years together.

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WOAH. That was a doozy. But in the words of Judah and the Lion “It is what it is”.

All my love you craycrays!

Taylor Cecelia Brook