Caught In Perfection
And How We Can Escape It
Heads Up, this was an OG Blog post so it does contain affiliate links, I’ll get money should you buy something from them. :)
Introduction
Diving into "The Perfection Trap" by Thomas Curran, I expected a manual for battling my perfectionist demons. Instead, I found a reflection of our cultural obsession with perfection—a long, insightful, yet practicality-scarce read. But, gems were hidden within its pages, gems that resonated with my soul. Despite its flaws, this book is a must-read for fellow perfectionists navigating the tumultuous seas of self-imposed standards. In this post I’ll provide my 3 largest take aways:
Getting out of the cycle of perfectionism
How to accept what is out of your control
Redefine winning
My battle with perfectionism intensified after I launched Lilys List, my nonprofit in memory if my late daughter Lily. Leading to overwhelming stress and burnout. I remember the weight I carried, a burden of never feeling enough. It mirrored my life post-well anything. Eventually this was a venture I had to let go of due to the unbearable pressure. "Constantly feeling never enough is a punishing way to go through life... I'm restless, panicked, oscillating between relative stability and medicated relapse..."
These words from the book became my reality check. Acknowledging this was my first win towards liberation. The book's insights resonated deeply, reflecting my own experiences of feeling "never enough" and trapped in a cycle of overachievement. This realization was a turning point, motivating me to seek change and embrace my vulnerabilities.
The journey through "The Perfection Trap" unveiled several life-altering insights:
The Vicious Cycle of Perfectionism:
The book laid bare the raw, punishing nature of striving for an unattainable ideal. It's a cycle of over-achievement chasing a success that feels fundamentally unauthentic. This reflection was a wakeup call, pushing me towards embracing my vulnerabilities and seeking a healthier path forward.
Accepting the Uncontrollable:
"If only we perfectionists could accept that so much of what occurs in this world is far beyond our control..." This realization hit me hard. It was time to let go of the illusion of control that fueled my perfectionism and embrace life's unpredictable nature, an epiphany that led me to confront my eating disorder head-on.
Redefining Winning:
David Burns' words, "Perfection is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do," struck a chord with me. Why aim to be a loser? I decided then and there to redefine winning on my own terms. No more losers in my house!
Feeling overwhelmed by the perfection trap? You're not alone. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Let's navigate the complexities of perfectionism together. Already finished the book? Click here to connect and share your story.
Reading "The Perfection Trap" was just the beginning. It opened my eyes to the destructive patterns of perfectionism and guided me towards embracing imperfection. This journey has been about finding balance, accepting myself, and learning to thrive amidst chaos. It's a path I'm still navigating, but the view is already more beautiful.
Remember, the goal isn't to be perfect; it's to be authentically you.
Much Love,
Taylor