I got Catfished

Real fucking hard

I got catfished one time.

It was obviously very upsetting but obviously I didn't let the person know I found them unattractive 😬 Sadly, I think, I think this was the first guy, outside of my marriage, that I slept with. Up until that point, the only other men, outside of my husband, that I'd slept with were

Micro but tangent related digression

1. The one who raped me and 2. The one that I sought out after the initial Rape because like I was so fucked up in the head that I believed that the rapes were me cheating. (yes. I KNOW) So my dumb ass was like well fuck it I'll just do it again because I needed attention. I also was starting to find all sex lackluster and was very confused about my sexuality, how to handle that with going to a super religious university, and that my then boy friend was obviously very inexperienced lol I was always desperate for attention. YES I KNOW I HAVE WORKED ON THIS

Anyway, I think the catfish was the first guy I slept with, and that kind of makes sense. It was a safe bet. I knew he wasn’t even close to my type but it was a good first step and he claimed to be a Dom. I was super excited because I really thought I was a submissive type but my ex-husband was not the dominant type. I couldn't ever take him seriously, nothing on him, that just wasn't a dynamic that worked for us and I was really wanting that and this guy claimed he would do all of that…

We hit it off over text message and things were flowing super well. So we set a day for me to come over and chill and smoke. That day comes and I get there, he opens the door, and I'm like “oh no this guy knows how to take pictures really well. ” (Turns out this dudes wife is a photographer lol) AND he is way overweight? Oh God. But like, at that point I couldn't do anything about it, like a little late for that. I wasn’t just going to be like “oh never mind I got to go” as I’m standing on his doorstep. Maybe I could have; I'm sure there's a lot of women who would have. Where I was at in my life I could not handle or stand hurting someone potentially or upsetting them or making them sad. So I just sucked it up and I slept with this dude.

Oh it was very quick, thankfully. AND it was terrible. 0/10 would not recommend. I was surprised that he was able to throw me onto the bed but it wasn't a good throw and like just the whole thing the whole thing was so uncomfortable for me.

And then, afterwards,

we're smoking outside of his house and his wife shows up because they have an open marriage. Newsflash! I'm sure those people are divorced now. It was so uncomfortable and I had to walk out of their house with her looking at me and she was quite overweight and not pretty.

God I'm such a mean girl sometimes.

Then I felt really bad because all I could think about is like “oh my God this is probably fucking with her confidence.” She has no idea that I'm over here like “oh my God what just happened?!?!?!?!”

Leafy digression 🌿🌿🌿

Then I went home and got high with my sister lol very anticlimactic ending but then I had to ask my sister, and obvs. the bff, how to let this chick (cough cough: DUDE) down. I was like “what the fuck do I say to this person?” But they also didn't know it was a dude. No no because at that point I was lying, yep yep yep, I was lying about sleeping with men. Everyone thought I was just sleeping with women.

Anyway, it boiled down to me just telling the guy that I just wasn’t feeling the vibe. And bless his sweet soul, he said “I kind of got that by the end. Thank you for being kind. It was nice meeting you.” And that was that. Haven’t talked to him sense. Although, I do still wonder sometimes, HOW he was so fast at rolling a joint lol

All for now!

Love,

Taylor Cecelia Brook

P.S. Wanna give me the best day ever and share or comment? It would mean the fucking world!!!!!