The Chaos Chronicles with Taylor Cecelia Brook
The Curiosity Chronicles
Keep Fucking Going - With Gemma Fucking James 🪩🪩🪩🪩
0:00
Current time: 0:00 / Total time: -54:58
-54:58

Keep Fucking Going - With Gemma Fucking James 🪩🪩🪩🪩

One of my favorite humans!!!

Sometimes I feel like my cussing makes me sound like Barney from how I met your mother but Gemma deserved such intense praise as she is such a wonderful human being! I hope you enjoy the podcast and you can find Gemma and her Podcast over at:

(00:00:01):

okay we are back we are on the curiosity chronicles today i am your host taylor

(00:00:09):

cecilia brooke and i have with me the wonderful wonderful jemma james i am so

(00:00:16):

excited to talk to you because i'm so excited to be here thank you for having me

(00:00:20):

yeah absolutely absolutely okay so let's just start off with like

(00:00:25):

Share a little bit about yourself.

(00:00:26):

I know everybody hates that question because it's like, oh, what do I say?

(00:00:29):

Where do I start?

(00:00:31):

Yeah, exactly.

(00:00:32):

But if like no one has ever stumbled upon your sub stack or your podcast or

(00:00:37):

anything like that,

(00:00:38):

like just like the first thing that pops to your head,

(00:00:41):

just share that.

(00:00:43):

Wow.

(00:00:43):

Okay.

(00:00:44):

Where to start?

(00:00:45):

I'll try and kind of condense it into the cliff notes or we'll be here all day.

(00:00:50):

I am Gemma.

(00:00:55):

I host the podcast.

(00:00:56):

I'm the creator of the podcast and the blog called Getting Your Life Together.

(00:01:04):

Slightly ironic as I started it at a time when mine was completely falling apart.

(00:01:09):

So basically my life fell apart.

(00:01:15):

What can only be described as spectacularly in 2017.

(00:01:18):

I...

(00:01:22):

everything kind of fell apart in a really short space of time.

(00:01:25):

I lost my husband really suddenly to cancer.

(00:01:29):

I was approaching 30 years old at this point.

(00:01:32):

And so I lost my husband really suddenly.

(00:01:34):

And exactly four weeks to the day after that,

(00:01:38):

I got laid off from my job,

(00:01:41):

the job that I basically spent my entire 20s working towards.

(00:01:46):

And really shortly after that,

(00:01:48):

I had to move out of our home because,

(00:01:51):

I mean,

(00:01:52):

obviously going from two incomes to zero incomes.

(00:01:56):

So it was a pretty rough year.

(00:01:58):

And all of that kind of happened within the space of a few months.

(00:02:02):

So in response, I decided to begin a blog and a podcast.

(00:02:08):

Well,

(00:02:08):

the podcast has actually only come recently,

(00:02:10):

but I started the brand Getting Your Life Together at that point.

(00:02:14):

And since then,

(00:02:16):

since everything kind of exploded,

(00:02:20):

I pretty much voluntarily burned the remainder of it to the ground.

(00:02:25):

I gave up my home, my job.

(00:02:27):

I gave away all of my things.

(00:02:30):

And I've spent the last couple of years traveling the world solo and learning new things along the way.

(00:02:36):

And the idea of the blog initially was to share what I was learning.

(00:02:41):

I got really into personal development around that point.

(00:02:44):

So it was really to...

(00:02:45):

I guess,

(00:02:46):

document this process of me trying to put myself back together as this new person

(00:02:51):

and hopefully help other people along the way.

(00:02:55):

And since then, I've retrained as a coach.

(00:02:57):

And this year came the launch of the podcast,

(00:03:01):

Getting Your Life Together,

(00:03:03):

which is,

(00:03:04):

I mean,

(00:03:05):

the clues in the name,

(00:03:06):

really.

(00:03:06):

But the idea is to, I guess, help other people through what I've learned and

(00:03:14):

have it as a place for,

(00:03:15):

I guess,

(00:03:16):

helping other women share their stories,

(00:03:19):

other,

(00:03:20):

you know,

(00:03:21):

inspiring stories of reinvention and putting your life back together.

(00:03:25):

I want it to be a really cool place where people can be inspired and just take the

(00:03:31):

message that whatever you've been through,

(00:03:33):

like you're never beaten,

(00:03:34):

you know,

(00:03:35):

you get to design your own story and decide where you go from there.

(00:03:39):

So that's it in a nutshell, basically.

(00:03:44):

That is incredible.

(00:03:46):

And first off,

(00:03:47):

I want to just say that it's,

(00:03:48):

you know,

(00:03:48):

really amazing that you're sharing all this people because losing your husband

(00:03:53):

alone is a traumatic experience,

(00:03:55):

but to then lose your job and then the house that you built together with him.

(00:03:59):

I mean, they say good things come in threes, don't they?

(00:04:03):

Yes, they do.

(00:04:04):

Yeah.

(00:04:04):

My mom's been saying that to me my whole life.

(00:04:07):

I think she's more woo than she realizes.

(00:04:09):

But yeah,

(00:04:12):

It's really admirable that you're sharing,

(00:04:16):

that you're willing to share this with everybody because there's so many people out

(00:04:19):

there who can really lean into what your experiences were and that'll help them

(00:04:28):

grow and thrive and maybe not feel as scared

(00:04:32):

Um,

(00:04:32):

I know,

(00:04:33):

I know that's like one of the things that I really strive for with my,

(00:04:37):

my work is to help people feel less alone,

(00:04:38):

less scared.

(00:04:39):

And I can imagine that you probably felt pretty alone during that time.

(00:04:44):

Absolutely.

(00:04:45):

And I think,

(00:04:46):

I mean,

(00:04:47):

to mirror back what you've said,

(00:04:48):

I think it's amazing what you're doing as well and sharing your stories,

(00:04:51):

because I think you've just hit the nail on the head alone.

(00:04:54):

I'm scared is probably what I most felt during that entire time.

(00:04:59):

Um,

(00:05:01):

you know,

(00:05:02):

even before losing my husband,

(00:05:05):

just in the short time that he was ill for,

(00:05:07):

before he actually died,

(00:05:08):

that you can still feel so alone,

(00:05:10):

you know,

(00:05:12):

before the worst has even happened.

(00:05:14):

I think sometimes people don't understand until you're in that position.

(00:05:18):

So definitely the number one goal, as you just said, is to just help anyone going through it.

(00:05:25):

It doesn't even have to be

(00:05:26):

the same specific scenario in fact I obviously I hope that it isn't any kind of any

(00:05:33):

kind of big life transition any kind of you know just unhappiness with where you

(00:05:38):

are and wanting to create something different being in that space can just be so

(00:05:43):

lonely and yeah as you said just the goal to help people feel like they're not on

(00:05:50):

their own like they're part of something like you know we see we see you

(00:05:55):

we're here and sharing stories is such a powerful way to do that.

(00:06:01):

Absolutely.

(00:06:02):

And I think,

(00:06:03):

you know,

(00:06:04):

I think that millennials really went through kind of like a little bit of a paradigm.

(00:06:13):

I don't think I said that right shift,

(00:06:14):

but like a lot of us had a lot of really,

(00:06:18):

really intense things happen before COVID and during COVID.

(00:06:22):

I know, I know many people our age who,

(00:06:25):

had children die, spouses die, family members died, not because of COVID, just for crazy other reasons.

(00:06:31):

And then we had this spike in mental health issues.

(00:06:35):

And then COVID came and I really feel like that just blew everything up.

(00:06:39):

And I see so many,

(00:06:40):

I mean,

(00:06:41):

I would say at least out of one,

(00:06:43):

every two friends has gotten either divorced or had something traumatic happen to

(00:06:47):

them within the last five years.

(00:06:50):

And so I think, you know, sharing the different perspectives, like

(00:06:54):

you understand what anticipatory grief is, but I don't understand what losing a spouse feels like.

(00:07:00):

And you know what grief and loss and tragic emotions feel like,

(00:07:09):

but you don't know what it's like to lose a kid.

(00:07:10):

And I think that's what's really cool is that we can share and connect on some of

(00:07:16):

the things that we do have similarities on,

(00:07:18):

but we're not the only ones.

(00:07:20):

And so people who are out there who need support for

(00:07:23):

what you've gone through have that for people who need support,

(00:07:26):

like,

(00:07:26):

you know,

(00:07:26):

they're doing what care is doing or,

(00:07:30):

you know,

(00:07:31):

things like that.

(00:07:32):

It's just really cool.

(00:07:33):

And I really enjoy that.

(00:07:34):

And I,

(00:07:35):

I think that's one of the things that really attracted me to your podcast was just the,

(00:07:39):

the realness of it.

(00:07:42):

Oh, I love that.

(00:07:42):

Thank you.

(00:07:43):

You're welcome.

(00:07:44):

So what is your favorite part of your brand?

(00:07:53):

um getting to so recently and this week actually I just had my first guest on on

(00:08:00):

the podcast and it was just a whole different kind I've loved doing the solo

(00:08:05):

episodes I've loved you know everything about the podcast um and the whole creative

(00:08:11):

process behind that but having someone else on just I

(00:08:16):

lit a whole new level of fire in me there is something about having a conversation

(00:08:20):

with someone it just kind of hits differently and it lights me up in a whole new

(00:08:26):

way and moving forward that is the vision I would love love to see for the show is

(00:08:31):

having it just be this place of of sharing incredible stories and where you know

(00:08:36):

people women can come and know that

(00:08:40):

they're going to be inspired.

(00:08:41):

They're going to like,

(00:08:42):

we can talk about the hard stuff and we should be able to talk about the hard stuff,

(00:08:46):

but we can also,

(00:08:47):

we can do it in a way that leaves you feeling inspired and motivated,

(00:08:51):

inspired the fuck up to go in,

(00:08:54):

you know,

(00:08:55):

take control of your life and write your own story.

(00:08:59):

So that and moving forward, I just have such a clear vision now of the direction I want it to go in.

(00:09:06):

And it is just amazing.

(00:09:07):

being being a facilitator of you know other people being able to share their

(00:09:11):

stories is just the dream yeah i love that i absolutely love that and i think i

(00:09:19):

think that's what kind of made me realize why i wanted to do the interviews and not

(00:09:26):

just make it a solo type thing because

(00:09:30):

Really getting to hear other people's perspectives and knowledge and insight is really so valuable.

(00:09:35):

I really enjoy it.

(00:09:38):

So it's really cool.

(00:09:39):

I think most of the podcasters that I listen to do a combination of solo and interview.

(00:09:44):

Yeah.

(00:09:46):

I love that because like Lewis House,

(00:09:49):

love his solo podcast,

(00:09:51):

but I also love the ones where he interviews people.

(00:09:54):

I have received so many gems, so many gems from the people he's interviewed over the years.

(00:10:00):

Yeah, that's one of my favorites too, the School of Greatness.

(00:10:04):

I think that's such a good formula.

(00:10:06):

Moving forward, I'm thinking I'm going to have two a week.

(00:10:10):

So one will be an interview episode,

(00:10:12):

but then there'll also be a short solo episode as well,

(00:10:15):

like a kind of mini pod just with me sharing some insights,

(00:10:19):

something kind of inspirational,

(00:10:20):

motivational to end the week with.

(00:10:22):

I think that kind of gives the best of both worlds.

(00:10:26):

Yeah, I really like that.

(00:10:28):

That's really, really cool.

(00:10:31):

That's really fun.

(00:10:32):

I'm trying to...

(00:10:34):

alternating it but i feel like i have an influx of people that i just want to talk

(00:10:38):

to i'm like compiling this list like every day i just see so many other people on

(00:10:44):

substack it's just full of so many amazing inspirational people with with such good

(00:10:49):

stories like this is getting longer and longer i know i literally have like all

(00:10:55):

these people that i interact with on a daily basis that have become these friends

(00:10:59):

that

(00:11:00):

I didn't know I needed and I didn't know I wanted and now I have them and I can't

(00:11:03):

imagine not having them.

(00:11:04):

No, and you forget that half the time you've never actually met them in person.

(00:11:09):

I said this the other day,

(00:11:10):

I had my two month birthday on Substack and I can't believe it's been such a short

(00:11:17):

space of time.

(00:11:18):

Like the people I speak

(00:11:20):

to every day on there.

(00:11:21):

I forget that, number one, I've never met them in person.

(00:11:24):

Number two,

(00:11:26):

eight weeks ago,

(00:11:26):

I didn't even know you,

(00:11:27):

but now I almost can imagine not talking to you several times a week.

(00:11:32):

It's incredible, the community on there and the depth of relationships that you can foster.

(00:11:38):

I think that's one of the things that really makes Substack so unique.

(00:11:42):

And I know this was Hamish's and Chris's goal.

(00:11:46):

They wanted to have a place where

(00:11:48):

know friendships and community was formed for people who like to be creators

(00:11:55):

without all of the crap you know they can talk about what they want and as long as

(00:12:00):

you know they're not being awful because really what apparently there's only like

(00:12:05):

two real violations and that's like outside of like child pornography and stuff

(00:12:11):

like that because yeah that's not okay um but like graphic images aren't allowed

(00:12:17):

okay

(00:12:18):

And you can't like openly state that you're going to hurt someone or harm someone

(00:12:23):

or do some kind of like egregious crime.

(00:12:26):

But other than that, like you can cuss as much as you want.

(00:12:29):

You can talk about whatever you want, which is so different from all the other platforms.

(00:12:32):

There's so many rules.

(00:12:34):

Yeah.

(00:12:35):

But I think that's what... I'm sorry.

(00:12:38):

So I was just going to say,

(00:12:39):

I find the community in general just so different than what you get on social media platforms,

(00:12:46):

like the level of support and encouragement compared to having come off.

(00:12:51):

So I've quit social media completely now.

(00:12:55):

And yeah, it's just a whole different world.

(00:12:58):

Yeah, I...

(00:13:01):

100% agree because you can't be authentic like we can on Substack on any other platform.

(00:13:06):

It's just almost impossible because it's too saturated by fakeness.

(00:13:10):

So true.

(00:13:11):

I never felt fully able to show up on Instagram and tell my story.

(00:13:15):

There was still a part of me that was always hiding.

(00:13:17):

I don't know why.

(00:13:18):

I just felt so scared to really be open and talk about it.

(00:13:22):

Whereas on Substack, I don't even know what it is.

(00:13:25):

It just straight away,

(00:13:26):

I just felt more able to just,

(00:13:29):

it was the only place that I felt able to just fully show up as me and share my stories.

(00:13:34):

Yeah.

(00:13:34):

And without feeling the need to, you know, censor or try and be something that I'm not.

(00:13:40):

And it's just, yeah, they've created something pretty incredible.

(00:13:44):

They really have.

(00:13:46):

And I 100% agree and relate.

(00:13:48):

I mean, there are things that I have talked about and said on Substack that...

(00:13:53):

I would have never, absolutely not on Facebook and definitely not on Instagram.

(00:13:57):

I might've had a little private group chat on Snapchat, but that's, you know, maybe not.

(00:14:03):

And that's with people who've known me my whole life.

(00:14:05):

So in the things that I've talked about here,

(00:14:08):

I have never been so vulnerable in my life,

(00:14:11):

but what's really cool,

(00:14:13):

like you were saying,

(00:14:14):

is just the support.

(00:14:15):

And even from people who are on the other side of it, like,

(00:14:19):

Yesterday, I posted a note.

(00:14:21):

I was having a hard day.

(00:14:23):

And I made some comments.

(00:14:24):

And one of the people that I've formed a really cool relationship with,

(00:14:27):

she commented about how,

(00:14:29):

like,

(00:14:29):

her first reaction was,

(00:14:31):

like,

(00:14:31):

judgment,

(00:14:32):

which is understandable.

(00:14:33):

Because what I said, I mentioned how I was the one who cheated on my now ex-husband.

(00:14:40):

And I say it, I talk about it because, like, I want people to know, A,

(00:14:48):

that I recognize that AF really fucked up,

(00:14:51):

but you know,

(00:14:52):

it's okay to fuck up and recognize your mistakes,

(00:14:57):

correct them and move forward and ensure that you don't do them again.

(00:15:01):

And I think that's why,

(00:15:03):

because a lot of us,

(00:15:05):

I think,

(00:15:06):

especially women end up cheating because they don't know any other way to get out.

(00:15:13):

And they don't know how to have that conversation.

(00:15:17):

They don't know how to tell their spouse that they're unhappy because no one

(00:15:20):

teaches us how to talk about these things.

(00:15:23):

And so my goal in sharing that really shitty,

(00:15:28):

vulnerable information is to give perspective to people who are on the other side,

(00:15:33):

because that's what

(00:15:34):

That's what this person says.

(00:15:35):

She's like,

(00:15:35):

my husband,

(00:15:36):

I was the one who was cheated on,

(00:15:38):

but now I understand looking at it from his side.

(00:15:40):

He probably felt that that was the only way to achieve the goal that he wanted

(00:15:44):

because he knew if he did that,

(00:15:46):

I would be done.

(00:15:47):

And I think I actually have a post coming out today that talks about that.

(00:15:51):

Like subconsciously, I didn't know any other way and it doesn't make it right, but it's the reality.

(00:15:58):

So talking about it helps people, other people avoid that, uh,

(00:16:04):

And if I would have shared that on Instagram or Facebook.

(00:16:08):

God, imagine.

(00:16:09):

Imagine the trolls.

(00:16:11):

Right?

(00:16:11):

Like, I'm sure I'm going to get some trolls on this podcast episode just talking about it.

(00:16:16):

But we're just fine.

(00:16:18):

You know, it is what it is.

(00:16:19):

It's part of the internet.

(00:16:21):

But yeah, I can't even imagine what people would say.

(00:16:24):

I think the difference on Substack, as you just said, is people are always going to disagree.

(00:16:29):

Like, we're all going to have different opinions, but they can articulate it.

(00:16:33):

in an adult way and have the discussion.

(00:16:35):

Whereas, you know, versus Instagram with just, just coming for you.

(00:16:40):

Yeah, exactly.

(00:16:42):

And I,

(00:16:42):

it's,

(00:16:43):

that's kind of how it's so interesting because Instagram does it in such a fake

(00:16:49):

superficial way,

(00:16:50):

but then you have someplace like Reddit,

(00:16:52):

which also does that,

(00:16:53):

but in such like an intense hurtful way.

(00:16:58):

And that's one of the things that I love about Substack,

(00:17:02):

but also I wanted to achieve with this podcast because,

(00:17:06):

you know,

(00:17:06):

I'm always curious about other people's perspectives.

(00:17:11):

And we can learn from that.

(00:17:14):

And just because you like red cars doesn't mean you're a horrible person.

(00:17:19):

And that's no different than all the other things that people have opinions on.

(00:17:23):

And I love that.

(00:17:26):

on Substike, we have that ability to just talk about things openly.

(00:17:30):

Like people are so vulnerable, even with their businesses.

(00:17:35):

And that's not something you ever see on any of the other social media platforms.

(00:17:40):

So that's been really, really cool.

(00:17:44):

Just getting to see unfold, especially with, you know, people

(00:17:49):

who share similar stuff to me and like watching all the comments on your,

(00:17:53):

on your posts and stuff and the interactions on your notes,

(00:17:56):

it just makes me happy that there's so much like support and encouragement because

(00:18:01):

that gives us the chance to actually change people's lives,

(00:18:04):

which is really cool.

(00:18:06):

Completely agree.

(00:18:08):

What's been your kind of, since, cause I know we joined Substack around a similar time.

(00:18:12):

What's been your kind of favorite stuff to share?

(00:18:16):

Cause I know you talk about Lily,

(00:18:17):

but you also talk about,

(00:18:19):

you know,

(00:18:19):

your previous relationships and is there anything particular that.

(00:18:24):

So I think it's so interesting that,

(00:18:30):

and I don't know if I've ever like truly spent a good amount of time thinking about this.

(00:18:35):

um i struggle with like wanting to always just talk about lily um but when i do

(00:18:41):

that i get stuck in that headspace sometimes and it's just not a great headspace to

(00:18:47):

stay in um but it is what gets the most traction on substack for sure and i get it

(00:18:53):

because i am talking very bluntly about that about my life with her um

(00:19:00):

But that wasn't actually my goal when I started my Substack.

(00:19:04):

My goal was to just share with people how I've unfucked everything in my life.

(00:19:10):

It's still not completely unfucked.

(00:19:12):

But...

(00:19:14):

I think my favorite thing to share so far honestly has been my podcast.

(00:19:22):

It's just been so fun to get to know other people and to interact with everybody,

(00:19:28):

but also just dive into just,

(00:19:31):

stuff that i'm curious about um you know with my daughter the other day that was so

(00:19:37):

fun because she told me what she wanted to be what she was curious about and she's

(00:19:40):

got the craziest brain um and so that was just super fun and people like that they

(00:19:47):

like my car chats which i love doing i think they're so fun and never took off on

(00:19:51):

instagram

(00:19:54):

Instagram doesn't know what it's missing.

(00:19:56):

I know.

(00:19:57):

And everybody loves them here on subsects.

(00:19:59):

I think that's the key, right?

(00:20:01):

Leaning into what's fun, like leaning into what you find fun, what you actually look forward to.

(00:20:07):

That is your, you know, intuition, your body telling you like this, this is what you're meant to do.

(00:20:13):

Yeah.

(00:20:14):

And that's never happened before.

(00:20:16):

And that's so cool.

(00:20:17):

I talked about that in my hero post that's pinned at the top of my sub stack, how

(00:20:23):

I was given so much back when I joined Substack.

(00:20:27):

I think that's been my favorite part is just it gave me back my writer hat.

(00:20:32):

It's been so long since I put that hat on and I had forgotten how much I love it

(00:20:38):

and how easy it is for me.

(00:20:41):

I mean,

(00:20:41):

I literally have to put time limits on my writing because otherwise I'll just spend

(00:20:46):

all day doing it and neglect everything else I need to do in my life.

(00:20:52):

What's been your favorite part?

(00:20:56):

Of what I've shared on Substack.

(00:20:58):

Yeah.

(00:20:59):

Yeah.

(00:20:59):

What you've shared on Substack or like, what's your favorite thing to share?

(00:21:03):

definitely the same answer as you the podcast let it be I enjoy writing um it's

(00:21:11):

something I find I have to be in the mood for and if I'm not then there is no

(00:21:16):

amount of force in it that will make it flow but once I'm in the flow then it just

(00:21:22):

comes like it just comes so easily um

(00:21:25):

So I definitely would say the podcast is where my heart is.

(00:21:31):

It's where the excitement is.

(00:21:34):

And when I kind of look ahead, it's the thing I can see build it.

(00:21:38):

I want, you know, the brand to become the podcast.

(00:21:41):

It's just, I feel like I find the thing for sure.

(00:21:45):

That's really, I love that so much.

(00:21:48):

Also, I need you to come on my podcast as well.

(00:21:50):

Yes, absolutely.

(00:21:51):

As my guest.

(00:21:52):

Not that my life is together, but I'm trying to get it together.

(00:21:55):

Well, that's the irony, right?

(00:21:56):

It's not actually about having your life together.

(00:21:59):

No, it's about getting it together.

(00:22:00):

What we learn on the way, yeah.

(00:22:02):

So much learning.

(00:22:03):

So much learning has occurred.

(00:22:05):

I never so far have met someone who actually has their life together.

(00:22:09):

I think that's a myth.

(00:22:11):

I think you're probably right.

(00:22:12):

I think that's definitely a myth.

(00:22:15):

I don't even know what that means.

(00:22:16):

What is it to have your life together?

(00:22:20):

It's subjective, I guess.

(00:22:22):

Oh, 100 percent.

(00:22:23):

And the same thing as like normal.

(00:22:25):

What is actually normal?

(00:22:26):

You know, is there really a normal?

(00:22:29):

But so you just launched your like one on one sessions, right?

(00:22:35):

Mm hmm.

(00:22:37):

Yes.

(00:22:37):

Do you want to share about that?

(00:22:38):

Because I would love to learn more.

(00:22:40):

So it's something I have done in the past.

(00:22:45):

I retrained as a coach and I've been working with coaching women for the last couple of years.

(00:22:52):

I put the one-to-one sessions on hold for a little bit while I was focusing on other things.

(00:22:56):

I get in the podcast and the blog up and running while I was traveling.

(00:23:01):

but they they are back I was finding the the response I was getting to the podcast

(00:23:06):

episodes and particularly I've done a couple around the areas like people pleasing

(00:23:12):

which seemed to get a really really good response and I decided to and I miss as

(00:23:18):

much I love the podcast I do also love the one-to-one sessions and that more like

(00:23:23):

working with people on a more intimate level um

(00:23:27):

So I've relaunched them.

(00:23:29):

I'm not doing any programs or anything at the moment,

(00:23:31):

but the one-to-one sessions for anyone who's been finding value in either the

(00:23:36):

podcast or the blog and just feel like they would benefit from going into a little

(00:23:41):

bit more detail and having some one-to-one support.

(00:23:45):

yeah anyone struggling with people pleasing or going through any kind of big life

(00:23:52):

transition they're just feeling a bit stuck anything around that kind of area I

(00:23:57):

love love working with women on that's awesome what is like your favorite piece of

(00:24:04):

advice to give to your clients

(00:24:08):

Favorite piece of advice?

(00:24:10):

Oh, that's a good one.

(00:24:11):

So I was asked this question the other day, which is quite similar, is what is your everyday mantra?

(00:24:16):

I feel like it's kind of the same thing.

(00:24:19):

And it literally just keep fucking going is my life mantra.

(00:24:25):

I just feel like it fits so beautifully because...

(00:24:28):

It works in the bad, but also the good.

(00:24:31):

Like, you just fucking go.

(00:24:34):

The best is always yet to come.

(00:24:36):

You know, if you're in a rough spot, just keep going.

(00:24:39):

I promise you, it all comes together.

(00:24:41):

And everything can come together for good just as quickly as, you know, it can fall apart.

(00:24:47):

So even if you're in a rough spot, I always just say, just keep fucking going.

(00:24:52):

It gets better.

(00:24:52):

I promise.

(00:24:53):

I'm proof that it does.

(00:24:55):

Yeah, 100%.

(00:24:55):

I really...

(00:24:58):

A, I'm going to think I'm going to title the podcast episode that.

(00:25:03):

I really like that.

(00:25:04):

And it fits the theme of my overuse of the word fuck.

(00:25:08):

But I also think I'm going to make that my personal mantra because it's so realistic,

(00:25:14):

but not like in a like.

(00:25:21):

bummer way like let's just keep fucking going because in reality that's all you

(00:25:25):

really can do it's the only choice right yeah and things just always have a way of

(00:25:31):

working out even when you can't see it in the moment and there's been so many

(00:25:34):

moments where I haven't been able to see it all we can do is just lean into the

(00:25:39):

trust and and just keep going and know that we'll get to where we're meant to be

(00:25:44):

yeah absolutely

(00:25:46):

That's such a great mantra.

(00:25:50):

And I really love that.

(00:25:53):

So along those lines,

(00:25:56):

if you were able to either go back and talk to yourself,

(00:26:01):

who was your version of yourself when your husband was diagnosed and through that time,

(00:26:08):

or you were to give some information,

(00:26:11):

some support,

(00:26:12):

some advice to someone who's going through something that you've gone through what

(00:26:15):

would be like something that would have comforted you a lot like something that

(00:26:20):

would have just made it feel less scary or less alone

(00:26:25):

Oh, God, I just thought I would want to go back and give her a hug first.

(00:26:29):

Just six years ago, me.

(00:26:33):

Yeah, I just want to go back and hug her to start.

(00:26:36):

I can just I see her in my mind right now.

(00:26:38):

She's just so alone and absolutely fucking terrified.

(00:26:43):

And honestly, I think like there's nothing if someone is in that position.

(00:26:48):

And if I was thinking to myself at that time.

(00:26:52):

I don't think there's anything that you could say to someone to make them less

(00:26:55):

scared because it's a fucking terrifying position to be in.

(00:27:00):

And there's nothing you can do other than just be in it.

(00:27:02):

Like there is no words you can say to someone and to even try is even, you know, doing them a disservice.

(00:27:10):

Yes.

(00:27:10):

You know, they just,

(00:27:13):

You just have to feel it and be in it in the moment.

(00:27:15):

There's nothing that's going to make that any better,

(00:27:17):

even though that's not what I would have wanted to hear.

(00:27:20):

I wish there was.

(00:27:21):

I wish there was something I could tell to someone.

(00:27:23):

But again, it just comes back to keep fucking going.

(00:27:26):

I remember one of the nurses in the hospital saying something similar to me.

(00:27:31):

She was along the lines of,

(00:27:34):

you know, just get up every day, wash your face and just keep going.

(00:27:38):

Like you do it.

(00:27:39):

That's all you can do in this moment.

(00:27:41):

And it really is just one day, not even one day at a time, one minute at a time.

(00:27:48):

There were definitely days where it was like one second at a time.

(00:27:50):

I'm like, okay.

(00:27:53):

Like five minute blocks.

(00:27:55):

Can I brush my teeth?

(00:27:57):

Can I wash my face?

(00:27:59):

I'm doing so well.

(00:28:01):

Right.

(00:28:02):

Right.

(00:28:02):

Oh my gosh.

(00:28:03):

I relate to that so much.

(00:28:05):

And it's,

(00:28:05):

it's kind of cool that you mentioned that a nurse said something along those lines

(00:28:09):

to you,

(00:28:10):

because I don't know if this is the case for you,

(00:28:13):

but I think that,

(00:28:16):

um,

(00:28:17):

I think everybody knows that nurses are very undervalued and underpaid.

(00:28:21):

Their job is really awful, but.

(00:28:25):

Oh, so much.

(00:28:27):

And in our situation, they're the ones who were our true support system through everything.

(00:28:35):

They're the ones that advocated for us to have things from the hospital and the home,

(00:28:39):

even our home health nurses were the same way.

(00:28:42):

And I just don't think that people

(00:28:47):

realize that there's so much more that comes with the nursing job and the knowledge

(00:28:53):

that they gain just from simply watching their patients and their families is

(00:28:57):

completely just priceless yeah and we were given so much

(00:29:05):

good like emotional advice literal advice on how to take care of our kid that no

(00:29:11):

one else knew no one else knew what to say to us but the people who see this every

(00:29:17):

day do and i just i love i love that and i think it's really cool so i love that

(00:29:24):

that also happened for you because i know some people get some really shitty nurses

(00:29:29):

honestly we had the best i yeah it just

(00:29:34):

absolute heroes, in my opinion.

(00:29:36):

If you're listening to this and you're a nurse, in my opinion, you're a hero.

(00:29:41):

Oh, absolutely.

(00:29:42):

I mean,

(00:29:44):

my best friend's a nurse,

(00:29:45):

so I'm definitely biased,

(00:29:47):

but she became a nurse because her son was born very,

(00:29:54):

very,

(00:29:55):

very medically ill.

(00:29:59):

He had quite a few genetic things wrong with him.

(00:30:01):

And

(00:30:03):

you know, she had, during that time, she had amazing care and awful care.

(00:30:08):

And that made her want to be able to give everybody amazing care as often.

(00:30:13):

And I think a lot of nurses, you know, their passion for their job comes from personal experience.

(00:30:20):

Absolutely.

(00:30:21):

So one of our nurses had retrained as a nurse because she lost her child.

(00:30:27):

I can't remember if it was cancer or another illness, but yeah, I mean, as you said, and

(00:30:33):

think that's a really common theme is you know you go through something and you

(00:30:40):

want to channel that pain into good and using it to help other people yeah

(00:30:48):

absolutely and that is just so cool that people I think that's one of the things I

(00:30:55):

really like about human beings is the resiliency of

(00:30:59):

that a lot of us will just channel the pain because people have said i don't know

(00:31:03):

if this was said to you but how did you keep going how do you keep going and i

(00:31:08):

wouldn't be able to cope i don't know what i would do it's like you you don't

(00:31:12):

literally there is no choice you don't have a choice like we never ever know how

(00:31:17):

strong we are or can be until we're put in the position you just don't know ever

(00:31:22):

what you're fully capable of until you have no choice but to keep fucking going

(00:31:28):

yes exactly and and i literally had a therapist say to that to me once and i said

(00:31:33):

well i didn't really have a choice she was all some parents wouldn't get up out of

(00:31:36):

bed and i just looked at her i know i was like i just looked at her and it's like

(00:31:42):

yeah i'm not one of those parents and i don't know a single parent of a medically

(00:31:48):

complex kid that would do that

(00:31:52):

It was just, I ghosted that therapist.

(00:31:56):

But so one of the things that,

(00:31:59):

one of the pieces,

(00:31:59):

it wasn't really advice,

(00:32:01):

it was more of a tip of someone who had been in my shoes that I was given

(00:32:06):

was of things to do while she was alive.

(00:32:09):

And some of those were, you know, we did her for her pictures of her first, her first prom graduation.

(00:32:14):

I saw those.

(00:32:16):

Yeah.

(00:32:17):

Yeah.

(00:32:18):

Yeah.

(00:32:19):

And I will get a post written up at about eventually because multiple people have asked,

(00:32:22):

which I thought was super interesting.

(00:32:25):

Um, but you know, little things like that.

(00:32:28):

Was there anything that you guys did to really, you know, make the most of your time together?

(00:32:37):

We got married.

(00:32:38):

I guess that's the main one.

(00:32:41):

I love that.

(00:32:42):

That makes me so happy.

(00:32:44):

Yeah, so we were planning our wedding in Venice.

(00:32:48):

So Venice, when we first got together, that had been our first ever holiday that we went on.

(00:32:53):

And we just absolutely fell in love with it.

(00:32:56):

It was understandable.

(00:32:58):

When I look back now, it's still one of the happiest memories of my life is that trip that we took.

(00:33:06):

So we decided straight away, like we need to have our wedding here.

(00:33:09):

So we were kind of in full in, in planning mode for that.

(00:33:13):

Um,

(00:33:14):

and then we found out really unexpectedly that he was ill and it was really clear from,

(00:33:21):

I mean,

(00:33:21):

talking about anticipatory grief as well,

(00:33:24):

going back to that,

(00:33:25):

there was no,

(00:33:26):

there was no kind of in-between stage for us.

(00:33:29):

There was no, it went from him being absolutely fine with, with no symptoms.

(00:33:34):

We had no idea that he was ill.

(00:33:36):

to him being incredibly ill.

(00:33:38):

There was no like, you know, gradual decline or he was literally just taken to hospital one day.

(00:33:44):

And we were told then, you know, he has this cancer and it's too advanced to do anything.

(00:33:51):

So at that point we decided we're not going to get the wedding in Venice.

(00:33:55):

That's not going to happen.

(00:33:57):

We don't want to be robbed of the chance to at least be able to get married and to

(00:34:02):

say our vows to each other.

(00:34:05):

we did it then just surrounded by our really close friends.

(00:34:09):

And it was really, it wasn't Venice, but it was perfect.

(00:34:13):

And it could not have been any more amazing and full of love.

(00:34:17):

So I'm really thankful we got to do that.

(00:34:20):

That was definitely a plus that we got that time.

(00:34:24):

But aside from that, honestly, there was nothing.

(00:34:27):

It just went from zero to a hundred of him being

(00:34:32):

well, fine and well one minute and needing full-time care and being really, really ill the next.

(00:34:37):

And our entire life just stopped.

(00:34:40):

So it was,

(00:34:41):

even though it took a few months,

(00:34:44):

it was a space of a few months between him being diagnosed to when we lost him.

(00:34:48):

That whole time was a grieving process because our life was gone.

(00:34:53):

We weren't,

(00:34:54):

you know,

(00:34:54):

didn't have our day-to-day of getting up,

(00:34:57):

going to work,

(00:34:57):

eating,

(00:34:58):

it was straight away.

(00:34:59):

He was in the hospital.

(00:35:01):

needing full-time care, having chemo, all of that stuff.

(00:35:05):

So aside from getting to get married,

(00:35:09):

which is the biggest blessing,

(00:35:11):

we had the rest of that time taken away from us,

(00:35:15):

really.

(00:35:15):

We weren't able to do that much else.

(00:35:17):

But, you know, I'm thankful, thankful that we got to do that, at least.

(00:35:22):

That's the most important thing.

(00:35:25):

Sorry, I got a little teary because I'm just thinking about, like,

(00:35:31):

Just,

(00:35:32):

I'm so happy that you were able to do that,

(00:35:35):

you know,

(00:35:36):

but my heart breaks for you because you didn't get anything else and you didn't get

(00:35:40):

to spend that time,

(00:35:42):

the rest of your life with your person.

(00:35:45):

And so that always, you know, kind of hits me in the feels, especially.

(00:35:52):

I take comfort in the fact that he got to spend the rest of his life with me.

(00:35:58):

That was it.

(00:35:59):

So we did it in a way.

(00:36:01):

Yeah, that is such a good way of looking at it.

(00:36:06):

I listened to a podcast episode of two friends who, one of them died and came back to life.

(00:36:21):

Yes, I know.

(00:36:22):

It sounds crazy.

(00:36:24):

I will send it to you on sub stack.

(00:36:27):

But it's like these two best friends and the one of the best friends,

(00:36:31):

like they've been best friends for like 25 years.

(00:36:33):

And she she detailed her whole

(00:36:38):

story of what it was like because she remembered every single moment so how long

(00:36:44):

did she die for 20 minutes she was gone for 20 minutes how is that possible i don't

(00:36:52):

really understand how i know like medically that can happen it's pretty rare um but

(00:37:01):

so i don't think she was

(00:37:03):

brain dead i think she was physically like just her heart was stopped um but it was

(00:37:11):

i would absolutely send it to you because it i had to stop it a few times because i

(00:37:17):

had to cry but it really gave me a huge sense of peace that i have never had um in

(00:37:26):

terms of connecting with lily um

(00:37:33):

And that is so cool.

(00:37:37):

But she was talking about how she we get to choose.

(00:37:43):

We choose when we leave.

(00:37:45):

And even if it's, you know, not the most ideal time, we still get that choice.

(00:37:53):

And I thought that was super interesting because and I don't know if this is your experience, but.

(00:38:01):

We are,

(00:38:02):

our number one goal with Lily was to have a peaceful death,

(00:38:06):

like as peaceful as possible because we knew she was,

(00:38:08):

you know,

(00:38:09):

she was already on oxygen and all sorts of other things.

(00:38:12):

And the last thing I wanted was to listen to things beeping and then that God awful

(00:38:17):

flatline sound,

(00:38:19):

you know?

(00:38:21):

And so I brought it up multiple times to doctors and hospice.

(00:38:25):

Like, I don't want any monitors when this happens.

(00:38:28):

I want to be alone.

(00:38:29):

I want quiet, like nothing.

(00:38:32):

And we got that.

(00:38:34):

And she, because like that week, she had awesome week.

(00:38:37):

She was alert.

(00:38:38):

She was interacting with us more than she had in a long time.

(00:38:41):

And so that was just such a huge blessing that we got that that week.

(00:38:48):

But I know she chose when to go because she had a really funny sense of humor.

(00:38:51):

And the very next day we were supposed to start our Christmas in July celebration.

(00:38:58):

because we knew she wasn't going to be there for christmas and so we were going to

(00:39:05):

do it that weekend and she went the day before and i was like yeah she did that on

(00:39:10):

purpose but it brought me a lot of comfort to know that like she knew it was time

(00:39:19):

she knew it was her time to leave her body but that her soul was going to be there

(00:39:23):

forever because

(00:39:25):

we have our soul contract and I'm,

(00:39:28):

I don't know if you've ever been able to feel that with your husband,

(00:39:31):

but you know,

(00:39:32):

it's,

(00:39:33):

it's a pretty special thing.

(00:39:34):

Once I, once I learned how to stop and listen.

(00:39:38):

Yeah.

(00:39:39):

I've been able to hear her a lot more lately and that's been really special.

(00:39:44):

Yeah.

(00:39:45):

I kind of get, I think,

(00:39:47):

feel kind of similarly with my husband that he it was special that that we got to

(00:39:53):

get married because I mean basically they said when we found out that he was ill

(00:39:59):

they had essentially said you know he's so ill we would be really really surprised

(00:40:03):

if he makes it past the next couple of weeks

(00:40:07):

and he hung around for a few months after that and I believe that was because he

(00:40:13):

wanted us to so badly for us to be able to get married and so we hung around even

(00:40:20):

the doctors couldn't understand it they were like you know it must just be pure

(00:40:23):

stubbornness that he's lasting this long because there's no medical reason um but

(00:40:31):

we yeah we were planning our wedding and we really wanted to be able to do that and

(00:40:35):

I think that is

(00:40:36):

what he was able to hold on for.

(00:40:39):

And then, you know, after that, it was just a couple of days until he passed away.

(00:40:44):

So I do think it's, it's similar.

(00:40:46):

That was, as you say, they know when it's time to go.

(00:40:50):

Yeah.

(00:40:52):

Sorry.

(00:40:53):

This is all just making me so emotional.

(00:40:55):

My heart's breaking for you.

(00:40:56):

I just, I am so,

(00:41:04):

I'm amazed and just, I admire you a lot.

(00:41:08):

And I know there was no other choice.

(00:41:11):

You had no other choice.

(00:41:12):

You had to keep going.

(00:41:13):

You have, you're still here.

(00:41:14):

You had to keep

(00:41:15):

trucking along and figuring out how to live post all of this awfulness,

(00:41:21):

but it doesn't make it any less admirable,

(00:41:23):

even if you know all that stuff.

(00:41:26):

I think the same about you.

(00:41:28):

And I mean,

(00:41:29):

I think part of it as well is,

(00:41:31):

I don't know about you,

(00:41:32):

but we,

(00:41:32):

we have that feeling of,

(00:41:33):

we want to do them proud.

(00:41:35):

Like we want to do their memory pride.

(00:41:36):

And for me, I want to think that he would look at me now and be proud of the way I've

(00:41:44):

oh he's so good to handle it I guess that's even the right yeah terminology but

(00:41:51):

just what I've been able to do and to just keep moving forward I hope that that he

(00:41:58):

would be proud of that as I'm sure Lily would be with you but I think that's the

(00:42:02):

the drive that we have isn't it when we go through something it's we want them to

(00:42:06):

be able to to look at us and be proud

(00:42:10):

Absolutely.

(00:42:10):

And he would be, he would be so, I mean, look at what you've done in six years.

(00:42:15):

Also, it's crazy.

(00:42:16):

That's been six years for you as well.

(00:42:18):

No, where does the time go?

(00:42:20):

I know.

(00:42:21):

It feels like such a conflicting feeling on one hand.

(00:42:26):

I can feel it like it was yesterday.

(00:42:28):

And on the other hand,

(00:42:29):

like it feels like a different person,

(00:42:32):

which I guess it was,

(00:42:33):

I am a different person.

(00:42:34):

I feel so, so near yet so far.

(00:42:37):

It's,

(00:42:41):

So true, though, because I mean, I can still see so many of those moments so vividly in my head.

(00:42:48):

I mean, the picture is perfect, perfectly clear.

(00:42:51):

But I'm not who I was then in so many different ways.

(00:42:56):

And I don't think we could be even if we wanted to be like something like that

(00:42:59):

changes you whether you like it or not.

(00:43:02):

I do believe that it actually chemically changes you.

(00:43:06):

There is some kind of physical,

(00:43:09):

physiological response that happens when you go through something tragic like that.

(00:43:15):

I'm just learning about that.

(00:43:16):

I'm reading Your Body Keeps Score.

(00:43:18):

I started that as well, actually.

(00:43:22):

I'm really enjoying it.

(00:43:24):

It's just a lot of information.

(00:43:25):

So I read like half of a chapter at a time.

(00:43:29):

But

(00:43:30):

i i wouldn't want to be that person to be honest um because she might you know like

(00:43:39):

you said you just want to give her a hug that's what i would want to do i would

(00:43:42):

want to give her a hug lost and terrified and because at this time as i was going

(00:43:47):

through this essentially on my own i live in a different country than my family we

(00:43:53):

didn't at that time have

(00:43:55):

the best relationship we hadn't for many years and we're we're in a good place now

(00:44:00):

but oh that makes me happy to hear back then we we hadn't spoken for many years and

(00:44:06):

so i was handling this on my uh as a you know a 29 year old yeah nursing my husband

(00:44:12):

and coping with the death alone and and packing up our home and having to move and

(00:44:16):

look for a new job and everything it was just handling on

(00:44:22):

my own so I just I look back at her now and she was just so terrified and I mean I

(00:44:28):

have huge respect for her but be that person now I almost feel like I want to just

(00:44:35):

go back and take care of her for real I just I was so angry I was so angry and I

(00:44:42):

was so I remember reaching like peak rage at about

(00:44:47):

six six to twelve months in I was just so angry at the world yes and everyone in it

(00:44:54):

and everyone I mean I don't feel this way now but it's part of the process isn't it

(00:44:58):

just being angry at looking around and seeing everyone doing what you thought you

(00:45:03):

would be doing and yes what you want to be doing alongside them and and just this

(00:45:07):

feeling of why like why not me why didn't

(00:45:12):

this happened the way it did.

(00:45:14):

And obviously that doesn't get you anywhere, but you don't learn that until further down the line.

(00:45:20):

Yeah.

(00:45:20):

And I don't think there's any stopping those kinds of thoughts and frustrations and

(00:45:27):

emotions because that's the natural human response.

(00:45:30):

You just don't understand.

(00:45:32):

And we naturally just want to understand.

(00:45:34):

Yeah.

(00:45:35):

We try and make sense of everything and some things just can't be made sense of.

(00:45:40):

Yeah.

(00:45:41):

And that was so hard for me to grapple with because I'm a much better control freak

(00:45:47):

than I was back then.

(00:45:48):

But back then, I mean, there was nothing I could do.

(00:45:55):

There was nothing I could do to change anything.

(00:45:57):

I couldn't control anything.

(00:45:58):

I couldn't fix anything.

(00:45:59):

I couldn't make anything better.

(00:46:01):

And that was just, I think I shut down at that point.

(00:46:07):

Yeah.

(00:46:08):

Because I didn't know what else to do.

(00:46:10):

And while I had family around me, I never shared anything with anybody.

(00:46:19):

That wasn't who I was.

(00:46:21):

I was a really private, emotional person.

(00:46:23):

It's interesting because a lot of people did not expect that.

(00:46:29):

because of how extroverted I am.

(00:46:32):

But the problem was, is I was an extrovert with an inability to allow myself to feel emotions.

(00:46:39):

So, you know, I isolated myself internally and just went really far, far inside of myself.

(00:46:49):

And I think that just made

(00:46:52):

it's so much scarier to be honest.

(00:46:57):

Um, and then I just blocked it all off and shut down.

(00:47:01):

And so I,

(00:47:03):

I,

(00:47:03):

I think that's like one of the things I say the most to people and probably the,

(00:47:10):

my biggest message on my sub stack is like,

(00:47:14):

you don't need to suffer alone.

(00:47:16):

Like,

(00:47:17):

you don't need to hide the horrible things you're thinking in your head.

(00:47:26):

Because I guarantee you someone else has thought that.

(00:47:28):

And just because you think something doesn't mean it's real.

(00:47:32):

And it's okay to think those things and go to someone and be like, oh my God, I just thought this.

(00:47:37):

They're like, well, let's talk about that.

(00:47:41):

And

(00:47:45):

I had one person that I could be, you know, that understood my anger and I could let it out with them.

(00:47:52):

But that was just one person and it was a tiny little part of it because they only

(00:47:56):

understood a tiny little part of it.

(00:47:59):

And I feel like you're giving that to people as well in terms of just getting their shit together.

(00:48:08):

You're a person that they can go to to look at and be like, oh, she talked about this.

(00:48:14):

Okay, let's listen to this again.

(00:48:15):

Because the way you talk about things, I'm going to listen to stuff again.

(00:48:19):

I'm going to want to.

(00:48:20):

I'm struggling with this.

(00:48:21):

I'm going to go search back through, you know, whatever, because everything's so practical.

(00:48:25):

And I like that.

(00:48:27):

I like practical things.

(00:48:29):

Yeah.

(00:48:30):

And so I just think that's really important.

(00:48:34):

really unique about what you have to offer.

(00:48:37):

But my, my other really favorite part about your podcast is it's applicable to everybody.

(00:48:46):

And I love that.

(00:48:48):

I love it.

(00:48:49):

Thank you for saying that because that was being my biggest aim from the start is

(00:48:54):

I'm well aware that the position I was in is thankfully not that common.

(00:49:00):

So if, you know, I,

(00:49:02):

if I was to start a podcast specifically aimed at people who are being widowed in

(00:49:06):

their twenties,

(00:49:07):

like that's going to be a pretty niche audience.

(00:49:09):

And the goal was never to focus solely on that.

(00:49:13):

Obviously that is a big part of the story and the reason for creating the podcast was

(00:49:19):

but that was why it was important to expand it into and have the general theme just

(00:49:24):

being of like going through any kind of hard shit any you know any kind of life

(00:49:30):

transitions reinventions unhappy whatever it is you can find something here useful

(00:49:36):

for you it's it's more about the overall theme rather than oh this has to have

(00:49:39):

happened to you too so that's always been and I'm

(00:49:43):

thinking about that constantly on every episode it's like how can i take the

(00:49:47):

lessons from my specific situation and use them in a way articulate them in a way

(00:49:52):

that someone can apply to them and whatever their specific situation is so it's

(00:49:58):

more about the the overall theme rather than the specifics so i'm so glad that that

(00:50:04):

yeah you find it helpful

(00:50:06):

Yeah,

(00:50:07):

especially because,

(00:50:08):

to be honest,

(00:50:08):

I wish I would have had your podcast when I was going through everything with Lily,

(00:50:12):

but that wouldn't have been possible because you were going through everything at

(00:50:15):

the same time.

(00:50:18):

But,

(00:50:18):

you know,

(00:50:19):

especially the people-pleasing one was one where I literally,

(00:50:25):

like,

(00:50:25):

stopped and wrote things down,

(00:50:27):

and I went back just to,

(00:50:28):

like,

(00:50:29):

really listen to it because I was –

(00:50:34):

chronic people pleaser for so long and that was something that really like broke

(00:50:40):

for me when willie was born because i didn't know how to balance that um

(00:50:48):

And so I either was a people pleaser or raging bitch.

(00:50:52):

Like I couldn't find the in-between.

(00:50:54):

Yeah.

(00:50:58):

And so now I've gotten a better handle on it,

(00:51:02):

but the practical tips in there,

(00:51:04):

we're just,

(00:51:05):

you know,

(00:51:05):

there's the day-to-day stuff.

(00:51:07):

I enjoy it when people do that because there's so much impractical, unpractical, impractical.

(00:51:15):

advice out there and just stuff that's just complete moonshots that I can't achieve

(00:51:20):

you know right in that moment and that's not the case with your podcast so I really

(00:51:26):

enjoy that we are about an hour in um so where's the time gone I know it's crazy

(00:51:35):

the same thing happened when I did this with Megan it just like took off um so

(00:51:42):

let's wrap up with

(00:51:45):

there was one thing that you could share today that you just want people to know

(00:51:50):

what would it be i guess just you know whatever it is wherever you're at whatever

(00:51:59):

you're going through

(00:52:02):

you can get through it.

(00:52:03):

Like, I mean, circling back again to just keep fucking going.

(00:52:06):

I don't want to keep repeating myself, but I promise you, whatever it is, you can get through it.

(00:52:12):

I've been there.

(00:52:13):

I've been in the moment where I thought there's absolutely no way that I can survive this and keep going.

(00:52:19):

And I never would have in a million years thought that six years later,

(00:52:25):

I could sit here and look back and feel like,

(00:52:30):

so hopeful for the future and excited about the future.

(00:52:33):

Like there was a time when I'd never,

(00:52:35):

I remember describing it to my best friend as just telling her,

(00:52:40):

all I can see ahead is like darkness and I can't picture a time when that is not

(00:52:45):

the case.

(00:52:46):

And so to be able to sit here six years later and,

(00:52:48):

and feel actually excited about what I'm doing and what I'm creating and at peace

(00:52:53):

with the way things have unfolded.

(00:52:55):

It just in that moment would have been unthinkable.

(00:53:00):

So if I can just say one thing,

(00:53:02):

it's that even if you don't believe me right now,

(00:53:04):

even if you can't see it,

(00:53:05):

even if you don't believe it,

(00:53:07):

You will be okay.

(00:53:08):

And at some point, however long from now, you will look back and think, yeah, she was right.

(00:53:16):

That random woman I listened to on that podcast, she was right.

(00:53:18):

I am okay.

(00:53:19):

I really, really...

(00:53:23):

I love that so much.

(00:53:24):

So that's really great advice.

(00:53:27):

So people can find you on Substack, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify as well.

(00:53:32):

Yes, the podcast.

(00:53:34):

It's my Substack.

(00:53:37):

And the podcast is available everywhere you get your podcasts.

(00:53:40):

It's called Getting Your Life Together.

(00:53:42):

It's hosted on Substack.

(00:53:44):

It's also on Apple, Spotify, Amazon.

(00:53:48):

And yeah, all of the links in...

(00:53:51):

of ways to to get in touch with me to work with me or to just come and say hi

(00:53:54):

they're all in in the show notes of all the episodes as well so i'm pretty pretty

(00:53:58):

easy to track down and i love to meet cool new people and and to talk so just yeah

(00:54:05):

get in get in touch if you want

(00:54:07):

Awesome.

(00:54:08):

I love that.

(00:54:08):

And I will make sure you're linked at the bottom of the transcript and I will make you,

(00:54:14):

you can add like contributors.

(00:54:16):

So if you're like on Substack, I can connect it.

(00:54:18):

So it automatically connects with yours, which is pretty cool.

(00:54:22):

So awesome.

(00:54:23):

All right.

(00:54:24):

Well, thank you so much, Gemma.

(00:54:25):

It has been such a wonderful conversation.

(00:54:28):

Thank you so much, Fun.

(00:54:29):

And I can't wait to have you on mine.

(00:54:31):

Yes, I'm very excited.

(00:54:33):

Yes.

(00:54:34):

Yeah, absolutely.

(00:54:35):

Absolutely.

(00:54:37):

All right.

(00:54:37):

Well, this has been the Curiosity Chronicles.

(00:54:40):

We are going to wrap up.

(00:54:41):

Thank you for listening to me, Taylor Cecilia Brooke and Gemma James.

(00:54:45):

It has been a wonderful conversation and we will talk to you guys later.

Discussion about this podcast

The Chaos Chronicles with Taylor Cecelia Brook
The Curiosity Chronicles
Hi, I'm Taylor—writer, chaos creator and tamer, Master Unfucker, and your guide through the tangled web of life's beautiful messes. Join me while I write and talk about everything real & raw in my life and on a journey of empowerment, laughter, and maybe a little spice.