My Rapist Got Me Into Metal Music

Well that's a doozy of a title

Disclaimer, I say like a lot, use the word fuck way too much, and go on a lot of digressions. Have fun!

****Trigger Warning Mention of Rape****

I wish I could say I was lying with that headline but it is sadly 100% accurate.

I like metal music because I wanted to please a guy.

A guy who spent like a year and a half raping me and I just completely let it happen.

• He was hot.

• He was fun and adventurous.

• He gave me attention.

• I wanted his approval.

• I wanted him to like me.

• I wanted him to think I was cool.

So when he handed me a CD of mixed metal music that were his faves; I started listening to all the music that he liked, which definitely leaned more on like the hardcore screamo metal. Think Warped Tour on crack.

BUTTTTTT

Turns out I really enjoy that kind of music!

It opened up my horizons of music. And actually, Bring Me to the Horizon is what made me think of this and they're not even that metal. For a time period I really enjoyed bands like Of Mice and Men and Chelsea Grin. I already enjoyed PopPunk type music and Joey, my then BF, was really into Slayer, Metallica, and Pantera, so I had been immersed in this genre for a little while but I wanted to know these songs like the back of my hand.

Why? Because I thought that would impress him. Here is this lil blond malibu barbie headbanging to Let Live by Of Mice and Men (don’t listen if you don’t want loud music blasted into your ears). Said Taylor with said song, below.

It’s little Taylor. Circa 2011ish (17ish)

Until writing this, I thought that was the beginning of my journey into alternative music… but I think it was actually my dad and my mom’s brother, my uncle. Why?

Well lets see, I was raised listening to'

The Beastie Boys

Rush

Metallica

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Nirvana

Nine Inch Nails

Rage Against the Machine

Shinedown

Foo Fighters

Nickelback (do not give me shit for them, I am a ride or die fan lol)

No Doubt

Blink 182

And basically anything that was Alt or Grunge in the 90’s. My parents graduated HIGH SCHOOL in the early 90’s so I got a huge immersion into that scene as both my parents are big music people. Which makes sense. I come from a giant line of musicians. BUTTTTTT I’m the only one to go as far as I did in music (yes I did toot my own horn because playing the bassoon is fucking hard, let alone being the best one in the state of California AND getting a scholarship lol

Anyway, this was probably one of the most light hearted newsletters that I’ve ever written haha! I know the title really probably got ya’ll. One would think I would have turned away from this type of music but it did the exact opposite.

I choose to take that as a positive gain out of a really fucking awful situation.

As a farewell I going to drop some of my faves from this genre for your listening pleasure, I’m looking at you

Ulla Gaudin

!!!!

Much Love,

Taylor Cecelia Brook

P.S. Don’t worry, I’ll be doing a breakdown of ALL the music I like later. It’s well… chaos lol duh it’s me :)

P.P.S. P.S. Wanna make my day? Drop a comment, like, or share, it means the world to me!!!!