The Real Reason Why I Have A 9" Sparkly Purple Dildo

Bahahahaha I have been WAITING to write this one

Disclaimer, I say like a lot, use the word fuck way too much, and go on a lot of digressions. Have fun!

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Ok. You’re probably wondering… wtf Taylor, why are you even talking about this? Well because, there is actually a lesson behind it. One you probably weren’t expecting but one that ended up dick slapping (yes I did that intentionally) me in the face.

It all began at the ripe young age of 15. Yes. 15. Some of you may be like

Any others may be like:

But ANYWAY, yes I was 15 the first time I gave a blowjob. OH MY GOD I HATED IT.

I absolutely fucking hated it. I felt like I was choking and couldn’t breathe. And the smells… not a fan of how male genitalia typically smells lol And it would stay that way… for a very long time.

Almost 15 years in fact.

You’re probably thinking… ok but you also like girls.

I also don’t love eating pussy… yup you read that right. Sometimes I think I only like women for their boobs 🤣🤣🤣 because… well… I think that’s self explanatory on why I like them lol But I would get SO BORED going down on anyone. That doesn’t mean I’m bad at either. In fact, I was quite good at both.

But I hated it so much.

Until I met D.

To give some perspective, In my almost 15 year relationship with my ex-husband; I think I gave him a blow job MAYBE once a year…. maybe. And it would last all of 3 minutes before I got bored or grossed out or annoyed because I wanted to get the show on the road.

But that all changed when I met D.

I REALLY wanted to impress him. As I’ve mentioned a few times… I have major hots for him and I was completely confused as to how that guy could like me, so I was going to do anything that would make him like me more.

Scratch that.

I remember being EAGER to treat his cock like a mother fucking lollypop.

Except, I couldn’t get very far lol So I did what I could and tried to make the best impression with what I had. Thankfully I made a stellar impression lol

BUT

Because I couldn’t get very far, I was determined to change that.

I think after a month of sleeping with him, I went on a mission. One that I joked about with him but I was actually serious lol

I was in search of a dildo that was flexible, long enough, the right diameter, and wasn’t an astronomical price…

Do you know how long it took for me to find my perfect sparkly purple 9” dildo?

WEEKS. FUCKING WEEKS.

But once I did. You bet your ass I was hopping onto the internet to troll the BDSM sites and forums on how to train my gag reflex.

And so the training began.

And it was energetically easy.

I WANTED to be able to do this for him.

Can we take a pause here…. remember that line above this one.

Anyway, D had no idea that I was legit serious about training until one day I said to him “Did you know I keep the dildo in my car because I always remember to do it while driving?”

Picture This:

A black Hyundai Sonata driving down the road. Taylor reeking of weed, windows down, Shinedown BLASTING through the speakers…

Deep throating a 9” sparkly dildo.

HA Fucking hilarious AND ridiculous.

Yall are probably like why the fuck are you telling us this?

Well my friends, BECAUSE I actually wanted to put in the effort. I know now that I will do something that requires a lot of effort, ONLY if I WANT what ever said end result is.

In this case it was to be able to rock D’s world but also earn his praise. Because hello every good girl eldest child has a praise Kink lol

I spent MONTHS working on this. I never did that for my ex. I never did ANYTHING like that for him. And once I finally realized that a lightbulb went off. I realized that D was without a doubt my soulmate.

So the moral of the story is; it’s not work when you love it and WANT to do it.

This is true across every aspect of my life. If I don’t want it, it’s not gunna happen.

Thank you all for reading this Real Life in the Raw newsletter :)

Until Next Time,

Taylor Cecelia Brook

P.S. Thank you VERY MUCH

Megan Lee

for the help and title rec. SO MUCH better than mine lol

P.P.S. Find my antics funny? Know someone who has done weird shit like this? It would mean the literal world if you liked, commented, shared, or subscribed to my substack.